Realizations
by Lady Mage
Summary: Summary: Lily returns to Hogwarts for her last year and realizes something that she wishes she had realized sooner. One-shot.


**One Shot: I Realized**

**Summary:**_ Lily returns to Hogwarts for her last year and realizes something that she wishes she had realized sooner. One-shot._

Seventeen year old Lily Evans stood on Platform Nine and Three Quarters saying goodbye to her parents.

"Oh, Lily we are so proud of you making Head Girl and everything!" said the plump and easily flusterable Catherine Evans to her daughter.

"You should be proud, Mr. and Mrs. Evans" said a deep voice behind them "She was made Head Girl after all"

Lily whirled around and glared at a tall, handsome, muscular looking boy with black hair so furiously, her parents stared at her. _He's so cute in that sweater. Lily, this is Potter we are talking about. Oh, right._ "Go away, _Potter_" She said, annoyed with herself for thinking of 'Potter' as cute.

"Now Lily" said Mike Evans "You really should be nicer to this charming young man"

"Hello, you must be Lily's mother and father. I'm James Potter" James said with a grin and stuck out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you" said Mr. Evans, shaking James' hand "We've heard so much about you"

"Little good of it, I bet" said James, grinning.

"Well," Mrs. Potter began, but was interrupted when the train whistle blew.

"Come on Lily" James said "Lets go to the head car… we'll be late if we don't hurry"

"Potter. Don't tell me that _you _are head boy?" Lily said, flabbergasted, but then noticed his badge and her jaw dropped open in shock.

On the way to the head car, James told her "Just so you know, Lily, I'm not going to ask you out or anything this year"

This took Lily by surprise and she blinked at him. "All right" she said hesitating, feeling dimly that she kind-of wanted him to keep pursuing her "That will be a nice change" He held the door open for her and she tried to convince herself that it _would_ be a nice change.

That night in bed Lily struggled with herself… James had been a perfect gentleman all through the meeting and had not flirted once when they were planning the Yule Ball after the sorting. He hadn't touched her at all. While a year ago, she would have welcomed this change; she now couldn't help thinking that it was unwanted. And he called her _Lily_ in the most adorable tone of voice. That was another thing… it was so much easier to hate him when he called her 'Evans'. Wait a moment. Did she just she just say she didn't hate him anymore? She looked inside of herself, searching. She was totally empty. Hating James had been her strongest, staunchest conviction since the tender age of eleven when he had claimed her friend Marlene's plans for the class project as his own and had received all the praise only to walk over to her and ask whether she thought they were good or not. She, of course, had punched him

But she couldn't _love_ James… after all, Marlene, a big flirt, had told her if that she ever had to debate over whether she liked a boy or not, then she didn't like him. _So I don't like him_ she thought. She tried to chase away the thought_ I'll bet Marlene only meant that advice for someone who isn't in denial. _Lily rolled over. She wondered dimly if she was in denial, and rolled over again.

Over the next several months the part of Lily's mind that said she didn't like James weakened, until one night, while she was tossing in her bed, it dissolved entirely. She lay in her bed, turning over and over, until she finally decided that she needed some fresh air. She put on her dressing gown and went to wander along the paths of Professor Sprout's garden. She wandered down to the lake, and sat under the very tree that James had sat under in fifth year when she had yelled at him...

The baying of a wolf in the distance brought Lily back to reality. She looked up at the moon; it was full. _A night for lovers_… she thought. Then she shivered- she wished she'd brought a blanket or something.

All of a sudden a beautiful and majestic stag leaped out of the trees by the water's edge. The stag approached, and stood next to her, leaning against her. Somehow, Lily wasn't frightened- she'd just come to terms with the fact that she loved James- and that gave her a courage and sense of peace that was new to her, and it was that new found courage that led her to pet the stag and pour out all her feelings for James.

"…And it's really sad, but, tonight I realized that I love him" Lily finished then said vehemently "Damn. I am such a bloody idiot"

There was a little pop next to her and James Potter said "No you're not… you're perfect, Lily" he caressed her cheek. Lily turned to see him sit on the rock beside her. "Where did the stag go?" she asked. "I am an animagi" James gravely "So are Peter and Sirius. Remus was the werewolf you heard earlier" James added.

"Honestly, what you four will do to get a bit of attention" Lily said shaking her head. Then she turned to face him, wanting desperately to tell him how she felt and gazed into his hazel eyes. She reached her decision and said softly "James" she said "I love you" He kissed her. "I know" he said. Lily stopped kissing him to look at him in surprise.

"I was the stag, remember?" James grinned.

"Oh yeah. Now I feel stupid." Lily turned to him and fell into his eyes… he kissed her again. While their first kiss was slow, soft, and sweet, this one was filled with the passion of true love.

"Lily, I love you so…"


End file.
